I’m organizing a free conference call on November 7, noon central. The topic? How to jump start your freelance/consulting career in troubled times. Simply click here to register. The focus will be on marketing yourself. We have room for 90 folks on the call, so RSVP now.

Here’s another tidbit from my book Geek to Peak:

Whenever I mention the power of congruent behavior in workshops, I usually get a lot of blank stares in response. Congruent behavior is probably the most simple concept you’ll ever run across, but once you master it, it will give you apowerful bit of leverage over your entire life.

What is congruent behavior? Let’s define what it means. Congruent comes from the Latin congruere, which means to “come together” or “agree.” In geometry, triangles and other figures are congruent if they are isometric—roughly the same size and shape. In psychological terms, congruence means having a kind of rapport or agreement with yourself, perceived by others as certainty.
But let’s get practical here for a minute. Congruent behavior for the consultant or freelancer means matching deeds to words and thoughts. You cannot think to yourself, “Self, you will be a successful bad-ass ninja consultant” and then proceed to sleep in until noon every day, working only two hours a day, not reading any books on topics that deepen your mastery, or not networking with people who can get you any work.

Similarly, if you want to become a best-selling author, you won’t get there unless you actually sit down in front of a computer or typewriter (or pad of paper, like my beloved spouse) and start writing.

My experience has been that when people say things like, “I want to be a writer,” what they really mean is, “I want to have written.” They may want to be a consultant, but they don’t want to do all the work that it requires to get there. So the first thing you’re going to do after asserting your bad-ass ninjaness, is put the power of congruent behavior to work for you. If you want something, you’re going to speak, think, and act like you already have that thing, or at the very least, are working your butt off to get it. If you want to be a freelance copywriter or technical writer, you’re going to get up every day and write.

More to the point, you’re going to learn everything you can about writing effective headlines, about documenting software, about crafting effective landing pages. You’re going to send out five emails every day to folks who could potentially hire you. You’re going to spruce up your web site, adding portfolio items that show off your work.

If you want to be the best freelance JavaScript gunslinger out there, you’re going to use every day to your advantage. You’ll learn a new function every day. You’ll talk to the
agencies and others who could hire you. You’ll post code snippets and samples on your favorite forums, and help others who need help. You’ll build a reputation every day by posting
on your blog and being part of the community. Not a day will go by without learning something new.

Furthermore, once you’ve leveraged the power of congruent behavior in your own person, you’re going to extend it to the rest of your life. You’re going to start identifying all those people in your life who are only there to grind, tear, or slow you down. You’re going to talk to those people (if you like) and ask them to support you in your quest. If they can’t do that, then you’re sorry, but you’ll have to limit contact with them.

Why? Because nobody needs that in their life, but especially not somebody trying to go out on their own. A colleague of mine ran a successful freelance practice for a long time. Married somebody with two kids from a previous marriage. The spouse was in graduate school and didn’t have the time to contribute financially, so financial security was solely all on my colleague’s shoulders. The spouse had a big problem with the ups and downs, the natural financial rhythms if you will, of the freelance life.

Every week was an exercise in panic, with all the dissonant bitching and complaining that comes with it. Money slow? Fret and moan, but never lift a finger to help, not even to just say, “Way to go, keep up the hard work!” The spouse never contributed a dime in the five years they were together. Finally, my friend broke down, shut down the business, and wandered like a gypsy from one job to the next, never seeing even a glimpse of happiness.

At one point, realization set in, and my friend confronted the spouse with it, and surprise, surprise, ran into a wall of negativity and utter lack of support. Divorce followed, then a
return to the freelance world, and lo and behold, a thriving career.

Now, am I telling you to just turn your life inside out? Of course not. But I am telling you that you can’t possibly succeed if you don’t get congruent, and sometimes that means getting some other things in your life (besides yourself) straightened out too. I have been extremely lucky in that I have the most supportive spouse in the world—she always pitches in, she always cheers me on, and she knows that the right word can boost me to success, while the wrong word at the wrong time might distract me from closing a badly-needed deal.

I’m not trying to sound like a fragile flower, but sometimes all you’ll have out there is your will to keep fighting on for just one more day … and so I’m just saying, get that straightened
out in your mind and in your relationships before hand.